Let’s take a quick trip down memory lane…. When you were in grade school, or for the parents whose kids are now in school, did you buy or make special Valentines for classmates? I remember we also got to decorate a shoebox with bright, shiny paper, colorful cut-out hearts, and cardboard cupids to serve as the ‘mailbox’ to collect cards and notes. There was always an element of mystery and butterflies if you received something from a secret admirer. Those relationships felt so complicated then but sound so sweet and simple now.
Valentine’s Day can serve as a way to feel and show love in all forms - romantic, family, friends, and self-love - which I might argue is especially important. After all, you can’t give away what you don’t have! Whatever your relationship status is with others, we’re always in a relationship with ourselves, so who better to love than the one that you’re with 24/7?!
Here's a simple method to transform your Valentine’s Day experience in a generous and beautiful way. The method is called Metta (the technical term), aka loving-kindness.
The term metta comes from a Pali word for benevolence for both individuals and all beings. Other meanings might also include compassion, unconditional love, friendliness, goodwill, nonjudgment, and nonviolence. Practicing loving-kindness pairs well with Valentine's Day since it's a day dedicated to love and affection. And while Valentine's Day typically highlights romantic love, loving-kindness extends beyond romantic relationships to expressions of love and compassion in broad strokes. The simple act of projecting love and kindness outwardly helps us raise the warm and fuzzy feelings and emotions, soothing broken hearts and reminding us that everyone deserves to feel valued, loved and cared for. This practice is all inclusive and done without the expectation of anything in return, so there's no risk of disappointment or limitation because the more we spread love the more love grows.
Here’s an easy way to practice loving-kindness:
First, start with yourself (remember, we can’t offer up what we don’t have inside ourselves).
Take a deep breath, and I like placing my hand near my heart space, but you don’t have to.
Now out loud or silently, repeat these phrases:
May I be loved.
May I be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.
May I be strong and healthy in mind and body.
May I care for myself with ease and joy.
May I be happy, truly, truly happy.
Next, bring to mind someone you care about. As you repeat the phrases, imagine that the person(s) is physically with you:
May you be loved.
May you be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.
May you be strong and healthy in mind and body.
May you care for yourself with ease and joy.
May you be happy, truly, truly happy.
The third stage is for all of humanity, to help generate peace, love, compassion, and unity globally.
May everyone be loved.
May everyone be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.
May everyone be strong and healthy in mind and body.
May everyone care for themselves with ease and joy.
May everyone be happy, truly, truly happy.
And for a quick, even more simplified version you can do anytime, anyplace:
May I/you be loved.
May I/you be safe.
May I/you be happy.
May I/you live with ease.
I believe in the power of love to cross the boundaries of time and space as well as transform our lives from pain and suffering to connection and joy. That sounds like a pretty amazing gift any day of the year!
May you know that you're loved always,
Julie
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